Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.Last Monday, I had an interview and I find it rather odd that I was asked at what age did I want to settle down? The question struck me. I think the person who asked me was swayed by my answer, I'm pretty sure she will not forget it ── she wasn't expecting it from a 27-year old.
I told her (the girl at the interview), that I wanted to settle down when I'm 33. It kind of adjusts every year. Last year, that was age 32, but I changed my mind. Two reasons:
- There are still so many things that I want to do, places I want to see, and people I want to meet. I don't think I'll be able to so much anymore once I have a family. The way I see it, whether you like it or not, your priorities will change once you have a husband and children. Suddenly, life and the world is not about you anymore.
- And I'm not yet ready for that kind of life. I will admit that and say it again, I'm not yet ready for that kind of life. I have three cousins & a lot of friends who either married or had kids early. I've witnessed how their lives changed with a snap of a finger. I've seen how some of them struggled emotionally and psychologically with their new lives. I listen to their stories and there are more rants even if they tell me that they don't regret anything they've done, you'll feel that deep inside, if they had a choice, they would have chosen otherwise.
33 Comments:
omgd! that is so true. i mean i just at the very beginning of my career and now my great grandma (you read that right - great grandma) has expressed her wish for me to get married.
i mean come on.............
i am still selfish, i don't want to share my life just yet.
that's not illegal right? :p
Oh, I will soon be 30 and I haven't settled down as well. I think I will around 32, hehe. These days (at least in Europe), it's normal, that people settle down over 30. I think you're perfectly fine and I agree with on all the points you made. I've seen young girls getting pregnant (around age 21/22) and they had to marry and their marriage was a mess. You need to be emotionally stable for such commitment.
You don't have to russ-h everything if you don't want to and you're still young.There are many singles out there that is enjoying their singleness before settling down.at least you can say that you enjoyed yourself nung single ka pa dahil pagnag-asawa ka na,di mo naman pwedeng isoli kaagad ang hubby mo sa mama nya if you want to have a (only)girls night out lol!^_^
Thanks for dropping by while I was away sa ere and btw,malapit ng birthday mo--I hope you don't mind if I ask you your home address?send 'em here:clarissa_candido[AT]yahoo[DOT]com
Thanks!^_^
"I don't think I want to have kids, i'm too selfish"-skye
Which is exactly why I get you, I think when we're young we tend to be selfish, and that's ok, we have a right to, but once you've settled you can't afford to think about-YOU-it's about everyone else.
which is why I raise my glass to you and say 'cheers' enjoy life love [:
It helps to know yourself so well. Most people stumble forward through life not really knowing what they want...or rather, not looking ahead to consider what today's choices mean for their lives tomorrow.
I'm impressed by your thoughtfulness! =)
awh,,, you must indeed enjoy unmarried life while you can...
BTW..check out my dad's north american adventure!
http://passionatestar92.blogspot.com/2010/02/photoblog-201004.html have a great day!!!
Wow, baliktad tayo. I don't intend on settling down even until 60! Haha!
THE GIRL IN STILETTO.
That's perfectly fine.
No russ-h. Enjoy unmarried life.Ü
MKL.
There was a time when I thought that 21 and 22 were old, but now, if 21 and 22 are very young! I know of people who had children before they're 20 and they all had to quit school.
CLARISSA.
Ahahahaa! Kung puede lang gawin yun diba. I will enjoy unmarried life. I'll e-mail you my address :)
ALI.
Aside from being selfish, I know that I'm not ready to raise a family of my own, not yet. So CHEERS.
RICADEMUS.
Really, I don't understand why one would get into something unprepared especially if it's going to be forever and if it means that you have to raise another life. These are the choices that should be carefully thought of. We'll all have our time or I will have my time.
BENNY.
Actually! You know what? I think I will be fine not getting married. Hahaa! Heck, I wanna die young. 60 would also be a good age. It's so weird lang that a lot of the people I know get shocked when they find out that I'm 27, they get more surprised when they learn that I want to settle down at that age. I'm always told that I will be an old maid.
I love that quote from Sex and the City :)
I agree with you, there's no point in rushing into things if you know you're not ready for them yet. :)
Maybe what the HR personnel (mostly psychologists) are looking for are the goals you have set in your life and how and when you plan to attain them. They want to know if you're capable of making goals, objectives, and definite plans on how and when these plans would materialize.
Anyhow, I like how you have plans for yourself. To pursue a career and do what you want for yourself.
oh dear i so much agree.. ive been there and rocked that. Priorities are changed in a snap once you have a kid. Ok pa kung married ka lang, but once you have a kid, super different talaga. Although it could fulfilling pero dapat super ready kana..
I dont have regrets though I sometimes miss how my life was, night outs, career, friends etc. Syempre iba diba. But I love what I am now. Siguro dahil ready ako and it just happened a person came and i thought it was time to be serious with life..
Goodluck dear and enjoy... you'll just know if its time.
I agree with you. I got married when I was just 22. Marriage isn't easy. Even if you say you married the person you really love. Marriage isn't all about love. You got me when you said priorities will change once you settle down. It's true. Before, I would splurge a lot, buy clothes and shoes I want, not minding if they are expensive. Now, I can't even buy a pair of shoes for myself without asking myself if I really need it or not.
I think the bottom line here is to settle down if you think you're ready to be selfless.
Lots of love,
I'm just a year married and I couldn't agree much to what you said. That is sooo true...
Sometimes I find myself wishing I had known it before I even said yes... Though mine is a totally different story (as to how the wedding and all that came about), maloloka ka once you hear it. Nevertheless, I love my husband and my new born baby.
Good luck to you! :)
By the way, your blog is soooo cool. :)
u're right, russ. we must make a wise decision :) my sister's life is also changed once she has a baby :) the priorities are changed. well, those are the consequences.
if we're not ready, we'll face quarrels and even separation. but, once we're ready, we'll be able to accept the consequences and able to manage conflicts.
I miss making comments, Russ! Your insights never fail to make me think of my own: that is -- I do not know. Maybe because I know that when I marry the right person, I would want to grow with that man, maybe not with kids but who knows :) Great insights, as always :) Mwah!
Many times I see people rush into marriage because.. well.. it's just that "time" to get married. it's great that you know what you want, when you want, and how you want it!
your posts tend to make me think, and give me new ways of looking at things. haha. i am glad that you are comfortable with your perspective on the issue, and right, no russ-h! that is a very interesting interview question indeed.
RICO.
It wasn't someone from HR who asked me that, she's one of the heads in the Marketing Department. I think I know why she asked the question ... Marketing, Real Estate can devour so much of your time and it may not be convenient for someone who's just starting a family.
BAMBIE.
It depends on right timing, if it's the right time, really no regrets. If it isn't, it's a different story.Ü
GOLDEN.
Aww. Is there a Mom who isn't selfless? There's no degree or school for that, saludo ako sa lahat ng mga Moms :)
LOTUS FLOWER.
We wouldn't know unless we experience it. I could say the same for myself. My point of comparison isn't something I've experienced, but I something I witnessed.
BEE.
That's true. I think, unconsciously, I fear that part wherein couples quarrel with the possibility of separation. Gah.
TEEYAH.
Thank yooou! Hey, we all want to marry the right person. We all want to grow old with the right person. My perpetual question to all those who married the right person: how do they know that they married the right man or girl? Diba? Hahaa! Goodluck to us!
i think the 'settling down' age becomes later and later as the generation gets older. our grandmas probably settled at around 16-18, moms probably 20-25 and our older sisters and us 28-30+. probably because there are so many things to do, so many places to see.
i guess settling down early isn't such an obvious option anymore :)
♥ joei
http://i.am/joei
when you hit your late 30s, people really keep pestering you about getting married. as if it were that easy ano?
to the people who always ask: it will always be in God's time, kaya wag kayo mangmadali ng ibang tao!
Wow.
You know what? Back during my college days, I was asked when I wanted to get married. I said dapat pg 28 yrs old na ako, mejo nagsesettle down na ako. Plus, it's hard to have a baby once you reach your 30s. Sadly, ngayong nagsastart na ako ng career ko, I think 28 years old is too early for me. I want to do a lot of things pa.
I planned on settling down at the age of 30. I got married at the age of 24. I aint gonna lie, if things/circumstances were different that year - I wouldn't have sacrificed my happy single life. But whenever I look at my lil girl's face...man, its all worth it.
i'm 33 and now ko pa lang na-feel yung want talaga to settle down. dati it was just an idea for somewhere down the road in my life but now i feel na ito yung age that i can say i'm ready for it so yeah, 33 was a good answer. ;)
I don't see nothing wrong about that :) It's good to wait untill you really are ready, than rushing into anything and later regretting that decision.
I hope that you will know once the time is right ;) Till then have lots of fun living your life to the fullest ♥
I do wonder what the future holds for both you and me. Hopefully we will be able to experience that together, cause it would be really sweet to hear about you settling down sometime in 5+sth years :)
JOEI.
D & I even have this theory that since people tend to marry late now, there might even come a time that weddings will just be a thing of the past.Ö I told you, I only want to experience wearing a wedding gown, walking down the aisle ─ just the ceremony, but whatever is gonna happen after the wedding, I don't want any of that.
KG.
Yup. Yup. It will always be in GoD's time. And if He doesn't will for it to happen, it won't.
STEPH.
I also think that 28 is an early age. Take your time dear.
APE.
Yours might be a different situation. I guess even if we want this or that, if GoD didn't will for it to happen, it wouldn't happen. Diba? Everything happens for a reason :)
CLARE.
For you to feel that want to settle down at 33, I think you could say that you enjoyed unmarried life. Idol kita.Ü
LUCIA.
Aww. In GoD's time, that's what I always say. And you my dear, just enjoy unmarried life especially now that you're still in college ── that is one of the best times in one's life.
Dear, I'm glad that you know what you want in life. and yes, never let anything force us to get married. not age, not family, not anything. Cause, marriage is a HUGEE step in life. It takes a lot of courage, commitment, and soo many other things. But trust me, you will KNOW when you are ready :)
I'm already 33. When I was younger I said I'd get married when I'm 21. That's 12 years ago too late. Baligtad. I guess you can't really plan your life.
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