It is easy for me to get used to a gray sky; a habit forms and I find myself planning for dreary days almost without end. I am trying to pass time.
The sad part is I do not know if I have switched off. I have no clue. It feels like the rattle of a rollercoaster.
It's the worry of giving out that will definitely wear me down. I like my feelings and my feet in one place standing. I do not have to be smiling, but I surely do not like being twisted, turned and upside down.
I absolutely have no idea why I'm in this state right now. I never paid for that ride. I never asked it for it either. Just how will I get off? I have always had this picture painted in my head that rollercoasters are supposed to be in lush, green places where people have big, happy smiles and summer abundantly shines down. They don't belong inside people during a rainy season or something making them feel that they're not in control.
At the back of my head, I know that I should stay out the dreary, old gray shite and expect things to go right -- I really want something good to happen. It does not have to be a lottery or a big present. I just want something that will go on nicely.
I can't wait for that day when the clouds will eventually start to move and the gray will make room for the blue in the sky. I will remember to smile and I will feel lighter. My insides will keep saying, “Isn't life a good thing?" and my mind will keep on repeating "I needed that. I really did."
August isn't for me, such a horrible month.
I am just so hungry for good things to happen.
20 Comments:
*hugs* wish there was more i could say, but i'm in a dreary place myself...
ito happy pill catch! LOL wag ka ng masad i'm sure things will be better napaka strong naman ng statement na august is such a horrible month ikaw talaga siguro try to change your routine para naman may bago diba baka makatisod ka ng tunay na happy pill!
Awww, don't be sad. September is fast approaching. :D and August is about to end. :D
things always get worse before they get better. You can get through this
I am so sorry to hear that dear. It will come to pass and of course waiting for something good is not waiting in vain. You'll get your sunshine soon enough just like me. I was in biggest dump for almost 18 months. To be away from home and away from my loved ones due to some bureaucratic errors. Now, after a long wait. I am finally back home in the arms of my big love.
CLARE.
I'll be wishing better days for us.
PRINSESAMUSANG.
That sounded like a very good idea, thank you for the reminder. It would be super easy sana if routine lang ang kailangan palitan, kaya lang pati mga taong nakapaligid sakin, gusto ko rin palitan pero hindi puede. I have no choice. I'm stuck with them.
PASYALERA.
6 days to go or if I want to make it sound that the wait won't be long, less than a week! Really can't wait. Sigh.
ANONYMARK.
Can't wait for the part when it's get better. Thanks for visiting.
CHARLES.
I hope my sunshine comes soon. 18 months! How were you able to endure that long? Idol na kita.Ü
Hi russ.. Hope you'll feel better soon and be cheerful again. remember, take life as it is. It's not always having blue skies but definitely not also having gray always as well.. After the storm,. there is always the golden sun..=)
There is light outside a dark tunnel. Don't be upset. Everything will be alright :)
thanks for the comment in my post. well, the store was packed Friday and Saturday for the tax free weekend :)
Marly
i have just the happy pill you need...
http://earthymsjen.blogspot.com/2009/07/letter-for-my-family-and-to-you-my.html
we're in this place that's meant to be hard to live=(
i also hope to make your day a li'l birhgter today with this something i have for you. come visit and grab, you deserve it!
SHELO & MARLY.
Thank you dear.
I will keep that in mind.
JENIE.
I will check on the link, thanks girl.
I suspect it's the hormones surging! :P Kidding aside, I know things are gonna be alright for you. I guess, our lives ebb from time to time because it's needed. Think about the learning experiences you'd gain after such listless journey. Not to mention, it makes us surprisingly stronger, too.
Russ, love, this too shall pass. Sometimes, not being in control grants us humility in ways we could never imagine. :)
things will be fine! just keep your faith =)
btw, thanks for visiting my blog. hope we can exchange links. =)
everything will be okay soon.. cheer up.. :)
maybe it's part of hypothyroidism...hope it isn't...hope it will pass away soon=)
We all have the blue funk sometimes. :[
Can I have some happy pills too? :?
2 more days and August will be over. :D Have a great month ahead, Russ!
awwww... hope everything goes well soon.
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