In my last Fill-In-The-Blank-Friday post, I said that lately, I have been thinking a lot about death. Wednesday right after Basyang whipped the whole of Metro Manila, I was sitting in the pantry with my female workmates. One of them opened up to the group and told us about her mom. Her mom was already very ill.
Our conversation moved from her mom's battle with cancer, how being & living healthy is not an assurance that a person will never get the Big C, what she's supposed to do that day because electricity was out, the good (and not-so-good times) she & her mom have shared, the possibility that her mom would pass on soon, how she told her mom that if she's already having a hard time, my workmate was ready to let go.
It was a very emotional lunch conversation and I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I tried to put myself in her situation. I cannot imagine life without my Mommy. Sure, we have our differences and there are days that we're not on the same wavelength, but she's MY mom. I would sometimes think of life as a novel that you've read several times already. You already know how the story started, the events that will happen as the story will progress, and how the story will end. It's almost like being certain that this person will not pass on (yet) because she still has to see me get married or she & I have planned to see this country, etc etc.
Two workmates, who both lost their moms shared their own stories: what they went through, how life was like without their moms, the pains, and how they moved on. It was not easy! Hearing their stories wanted to make me cry and I truly admire them for carrying on. One of them told the group,
Death does not mean that they're no longer here or they don't see us anymore. They will always be here. We just won't experience it. They just won't experience it.I don't know. It's still different when the person is physically present. Come Thursday, we learned about the news that my workmate's mom passed on. It was so creepy and I got goosebumps. I felt as if her mom was with us when we were having that conversation during lunch. Don't you think? We all felt that her mom was there, to sort of prepared her.
12 Comments:
Gosh,I can't afford to lose my Mom after losing my father--I can't imagine if something bad happened to my Mom--di ko kakayanin ...pati ako naiiyak,mabigat sa damdamin.
Sorry to hear about your workfriend's Mom passing..May she rest in peace..
re: it's an airdome--yun ang pinaka-main na palaruan dun sa park,parang trampoline din.Enjoy ang mga bata sa kaka-jump.
Reading this gave me goosebumps...
Lately, I've been thinking about how everything will go once the closest people to me are gone... It's scary not because you rely on them but because of their presence which is sooo important. Even though u may not see each other (for example, you live in a far place from them), the fact that you know u can still reach them is something that gives u this emotional security.
It's all so hard to handle because of the adjustments but in the end, we all know we'll meet someday. :)
Hay. We really have a lot of things in common... even our way of thinking these days. =\ Aquarians unite?
Baka nga andun ang nanay nya nun, halaaa... joke...hehe... mahirap tlga kung meron nawawala sa atin lalo kung mahal natin, pero siguro kung iisipin nlng natin na bka mas mabuti na din na nakapagpahinga na si mamay nya, hirap din un sa pakikipaglaban sa cancer... siguro sa una, andun ung sakit pero kalaunan, natatanggap na din... pero, sabi nga, madali natin masabi dahil di nangyayari satin ngaun, siguro ibang usapan na din kung tayo na ang nsa kalagayan... nice post po pala! =D
you know what, i've also been thinking of death recently. what id would feel like...what it would be like to leave this world. creepy, but it's thing we all have to be prepared for.
kg
Such a serious thing to have on your mind. THat conversation definitely happened for the reason of helping your friend...it was no coincidence.
It was hard on my wife, not having her mom to help her when our first child was born. But at least she was at the wedding. My mom died when we were 25, nine months before our second child was born.
STEPH.
True that. It would really be different. I can't imagine it happening.
RICADEMUS.
All girls who were part of that conversation must have felt the same and we all agree that it happened for our friend.
CLARISSA.
Airdome! It sounds so cool and fun. It would be nice to be a kid (again) in this generation, too many cool gadgets and toys to play with :)
GRACE.
I don't think it's something that I ever prepare for, it's too tragic and will be too painful.
i cant imagine life without my mom and dad. i love them both so dearly.
Ever since I was young I already had this notion that death is part of our life. I also had this feeling that death is probably just the beginning of something even bigger that will unfold upon us.
It's hard to lose our loved ones but I always believe that there's no such thing as goodbyes since one way or another everyone will meet in their final destination.
i lost my dad 2 years ago over his Diabetes complications and among his daughters it was more painful for me to watch him slowly deteriorate before my eyes... i grew up & saw him at his most healthy state then slowly i watched him get weaker and weaker each day... and there was this fear that we all knew that one day he will be gone.
now i really make sure that my mom is healthy and taking all her maintenance medications. our folks are not getting any younger, that's a fact. but i guess the best thing we can do while they are still with us is to spend quality time with them.
I also think about death very often and I have come to realize that I am not afraid of death if it comes to me. But, I am scared of losing the people I love!
hi russ. i just chanced upon your post. i can relate to the emotions and the things that you said. there isn't one day that i don't think of my parents. the pain is something that i don't wish for anyone else to experience.
but that said, i also agree: life goes on, and the least you can do is to live knowing that they taught you well and to pray that you have made them proud.
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