In the middle of sorting my files and opening them, so I know which ones should be deleted and which should be kept for reference, I found this. This was probably sent to me through e-mail. It's worth sharing to all the girls.Ü
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Men Code of Ethics
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- Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
- Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
- When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts.
- You are permitted to deny his very existence.
- Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
- You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bart by 50% without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call BS. Except when trying to pick up a woman, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400%.
- If you have known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.
- The minimum amount of time to wait for a another guys who's running late is five minutes. For a woman, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the hotness classic 1-10 scale.
- Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddy's refrigerator is forbidden, you may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.
- No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man, in fact, even remembering a friend's birthday is strictly optional.
- Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up together, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.
- Before dating a buddy's ex, you are required to ask his permission and he, in return, is required to grant it.
- Woman who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate the knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.
- If a man's zipper is down, that is his problem - you did not see nothin'.
- The universal compensation for buddies who you move is beer.
- A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.
- You girlfriend must bond with your buddy's girlfriend within 30 minutes of meeting them. You are not required to make nice with her gal pal's significant others... low-level sports bonding is all the law requires.
- When your girlfriend / wife expresses a desire to fix her whiny friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you will be able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about joining the priesthood.
- It is permissible to consume fruity drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it is delivered by a topless supermodel and it's free.
- Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
- A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
- If a buddy is outnumbered, outmanned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours, his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin." then you may sit back and enjoy.
- Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That is just plain mean.
- If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.
- Never talk to a man in the bathroom.
- If a buddy is already singing to a song in the car, you may not join him.
- Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "Leave me alone!", you are absolved of your responsibility.
- Under no circumstances may you ask a friend, "Do I look fat in this outfit?"
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